jellolids

So, after about four years of radio silence, another update on how life is going.  Ummm... I just graduated from college, with a B.A. in French, magna cum laude, and an even shinier degree from my school's honors college.  Which also means that I wrote a senior thesis to get that shinier degree.  If you ever feel the urge to listen to someone babble about Occitan (that's a language spoken in the south of France that you've probably never heard of, and probably don't particularly care about), let me know.  After having wrote 71 pages about it, I assure you, I'm up to the task.  Other than that, I'll be going back to my university in the fall to get my M.A. in Linguistics, which means that I'm going to be in the market for a Ph.D. in another couple years.  The world of academia is calling.....  Wonder what would happen if I started specializing in subcultural languages. Such possibilities!

Errrrm... other than that, looking for jobs, of the minimum wage summer variety.  Oh joy.  But at least I'll (hopefully) be making some cash.  We'll see how it goes!

So, finally updating the journal for the first time in a psychotically long time.  For those curious, I did eventually decide to give up studying Chinese.  Smartest decision I've ever made.  I'm so much happier now, and a LOT less stressed out!  At any rate, I'm now majoring in French, and thinking along the lines of getting minors in Russian, Spanish, and Economics.  We'll see if I can get through the necessary Spanish classes without totally cursing the language, but I LOVE Russian! It's just different enough to be really interesting, but similar enough that I have a basis for comparison.  Plus, it has an alphabet.  Words cannot describe how amazing that one little detail can be.

So, in other news, I'm back at my lovely university as a sophomore.  It's been a good year thus far, and I'm looking forward to continuing it in that vein!  I'm not writing anywhere near as much as I should, gratis classes and general lack of motivation.  However, I am going to be participating in Nanowrimo in November.  Even if I don't finish my novel, I've been doing so since 2007, and I love it entirely too much to stop.  Maybe I'll even con myself into posting it on here this year.  I kind of doubt it, but we shall see.

Errrm... that's about it.  Life moves on, much as it always does.  I've become moderately obsessed with Slavic folklore, and definitely with the Russian language.  I don't like analyzing Francophone literature, or any literature, period.  I'm going to be taking my roommate up to my home state weekend after next.  A lot of the alumni of the music and theater department have been invited to come sing in a performance to mark the opening of the new performing arts center there, and I'm one of them.  The roomie's hitching a ride because she wants to see where I'm from, as she's one of my best friends here.  That's.... really all there is right now.  I'll let you know how things go when I actually remember to post again.  Thanks for your continued support!

So.  What's been going on with life recently....

Well, this week, I've been reconsidering my life trajectory!  The story goes something like this:

I've figured that studying Chinese would be a good plan since I was a freshman in high school.  By Sophomore year, I had decided that I would double major in French and Chinese, then go on to law school... you get the picture.  Last summer, I entered an intensive Chinese program.  I did well during the summer; I wasn't the best by any means, but I was still getting As, so I figured all was well.
Then came the school year.  
I suddenly realized that not only was I coming to hate the language, but that was causing a vicious cycle which made me not want to study Chinese as much as I should, which ensured that I didn't understand it very well most of the time, which ensured that I was frustrated with the language, which made me dislike it more, which in turn made me want to study less.... you get the picture.  Yes, it's my own fault.  I completely acknowledge that.  Studying only the bare minimum has been a problem of mine since, well, forever.  Just look at my math grades junior and senior year of high school for proof.  Now, it's coming back to haunt me, as I've got an incredibly lousy grade for this semester of Chinese.  As in, if I get a B it will be a freakin' miracle type bad.  I'm hoping for a C at this point.  The higher ups in my program have basically started asking me 'Do you REALLY want to do this?  Do you have the dedication to do this?'  And I'm seriously questioning it.
Most of the students in my program have to study at LEAST two hours for every hour we put in for class.  I've NEVER studied that much for ANYTHING.  I don't know if I want to start now.  I WANT a life.  I LIKE having a life.  If I stay in the program, it means that there's a decent chance that I'll have to give that up.  In addition, I genuinely am starting to dislike the language.  I don't like the characters, I don't like the grammar structure... you get the gist.  And if I genuinely dislike something... then why am I majoring in it?
On the other hand, being able to speak Chinese could be highly beneficial in the future.  It would DEFINITELY help me get a job, and would probably ensure that it was a fairly high paying one, too.  It would help me get into a good law school.  It would behoove me in the future to study Chinese.  I know that, which is the major reason I started Chinese.  Part of me doesn't want to give up, and keep up the slog, because I don't like quitting things when the going gets tough, and also because I don't like the thought that people will think that I just couldn't handle it, or that it was too hard for me, particularly when what it boils down to is that I just don't know if I want to put the time and effort into it.  Also, if I DO decide to quit, then I'll be throwing pretty much all of the plans for my life that I've been working on for the past, oh, four years or so out the window.  That's a scary thing to do.  
So, over winter break I get to talk this all out with my parents, and make my decision.  Right now, I'm thinking that I'd rather quit, and start taking Russian, or something that actually has an alphabet and a comprehensible grammar structure, but maybe once I'm separated from the problem a bit, maybe I'll find whatever it was that convinced me that I really wanted to study Chinese enough that I left Slovakia early to come back for summer program.  I don't know.  We'll just have to see.  

All I know is... I don't know.  And to the smart girl, that's probably the scariest part of all of this.

...I have been avoiding updating my journal.  My apologies.  In my defense, since I last updated, I've been through... two house changes, a presentation in Slovak, a trans-Atlantic plane ride, an epically hard, nasty, and time consuming summer program, two dorm move-in days, and... something like a month and a half of university.

In short, I've been kind of busy.  Hopefully, you'll all forgive me.

So, since I last updated, I've relocated back to the United States, and begun university, starting in on my lovely French and Chinese double major, with a degree from my university's honors college.  Never let it be said that I'm not academically ambitious.  So.  In order to prevent another wave of really wanting to go back to Bratislava from coming on, I'm not going to talk about Slovakia.  Sorry.  Let's prevent a crying jag like the one that came almost up when I described my flight home for a Chinese presentation, shall we?

At any rate, I'm at university.  I have a love hate relationship with the place.  Most of my classes are interesting, or at least decent, and other than wanting to murder my Honors 101 teacher for her screwy essay grading practices and totally and completely not understanding the Chinese grammatical structure, and therefore not doing anywhere near as well as I would have liked on my first exam, my classes have been going well, too.  I successfully freaked out just about everyone in my French 331 class by informing them I'm a freshman during introductions, and got an A on my first midterm.  So.  On balance I guess I'm happy.

Even happier was my two week break at home between my Chinese summer program and the start of university proper.  I got to go visit and , which was great.  I had had a really great reunion with Roze when she hitched a ride with my dad to the airport to pick me up after my return to the US two months earlier, but it was nice to be able to hang out with her for an extended period of time.  Seeing Stella for the first time in almost a year to the day was one of those really awesome events that crop up every now and then.  So nice to see her again.

And... as my laundry just finished drying, I've got to go.  Perhaps I'll get better about updating.  We shall see.

Well.  I think I've had more alcohol in the past four days than I've had during my entire exchange.  Seriously, I'm not kidding.  Granted, I haven't exactly had the occasion to drink very often since I've gotten here, but still.  

The sudden onslaught of alcohol began on Friday, thanks to a celebration of aging that seems more sick and twisted with every passing year (for those of you who like these things spelled out in a straightforward fashion: my birthday was on Friday) At any rate, my host mother insisted that this mean toasts with, surprise surprise, alcohol.  The first variety was some sort of thick lemon flavored thing which, while not brilliant, didn't taste quite as nasty as most varieties of alcohol.  Then, later that evening, after watching a production of The Magic Flute at the Slovak National Theatre, we had a glass of medovina, which is this Slovak beverage distilled from honey.  Or something like that.  Either way, it actually tasted pretty good.  It didn't knock hard cider from its number one slot on the charts, but it was definitely better than most forms of alcohol that I've tasted.  (Yes, I hate most alcohol.  No, it's not because of religious reasons.  I think it tastes nasty.  Yes, I know that's very odd.  Get over it.)  Then on Saturday, I had about half a glass of red wine (which tastes no better than the white variety, which is NOT on my list of tolerable alcoholic beverages) at the discotheque (aka club) that my host mother and sister took me to in honor of my birthday.  And now, today, I pretty much had a glass of white wine shoved into my hand at the Austrian Embassy.  This occurred when... ok, how shall I explain this?... Ok.  My exchange program is run by a certain international organization, which is dedicated to encouraging international cooperation, among other things.  My father is a member, which is how we found out about it when I used the same program to go short-term to Paris almost two years ago.  As one of their students, I have a 'host club', meaning, a chapter of the organization that is my sponsor here in Slovakia.  The club is the one who arranges all of my host families, schooling, etc.  In exchange, I have to attend the club's meetings.  Tonight, we met at the Austrian Embassy, at the invitation of the Austrian ambassador, who is a member of the club.  (On a side note, rather impressively, my club can also lay claim to the Belgian ambassador, and the Swiss ambassador.  If you're curious.)  As part of the proceedings, we were served wine.  I turned down the offer, partially because according to the rules of the program, we aren't technically allowed to drink alcohol (not that anyone listens) and partially, well, mostly, because I think wine tastes terrible. The aftertaste is what gets me.  I'll take my grape juice before it rots, thank you.  However, the club member sitting next me said "Nie, nie!  It is Austrian wine!  You must try some!  You are with club members, so it ok."  He then promptly had the server pour me a glass of white wine, which, granted, tasted better than most of the wine I've had over the course of my two European adventures.

So.  What did I learn from this?  One: Apparently, alcohol makes me sleepy.  I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.  Maybe I'll end up falling asleep before I get really drunk, and save myself some embarrassment.  Who knows.  Two: I still think alcohol leaves a nasty aftertaste.  I don't know why, but it does.  And that's about it.

In other news, I'm on spring break!  Yes, I know, it's not exactly spring.  Look at it this way: Košice had its spring holidays two weeks ago.  Yeah.  Crazy, I know.  At any rate, I'm leaving this evening to go stay with my host mother's mother, and go skiing.  Hopefully, I won't break anything.  I have this horrible feeling that I will.  Oh well.  We shall see!  So, just as a warning, I'll be incommunicado for the next...let's see.... Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday... four days.  Just to let you know.

Aaaaand... that's it.  Uvidime sa neskôr!